Or, Just because you fall off a cliff doesn't
mean you don't have some hard choices to make
The coyote looks down. Theres nothing
beneath him but the warm tones of the desert far below the top of
the mesa he neglected to keep underfoot. He realizes hes going
to fall. He holds up a sign to us, or he unfolds a well-used parasol.
Maybe he waves good-bye. At all events, he falls.
My eight-year-old son and I have watched this
Looney Toones gag over and over on DVD together, and we laugh every
time. I always thought we were both laughing at the foolish coyote
because he carelessly steps (or rockets or bicycles) over the mesas
edge. But it turns out Warren has been laughing because the foolish
coyote foolishly looks down. Now I understand my son better.
I discovered Warrens point of view last
night, halfway through Warrens bedtime routine. Warrens
routine includes our adaptation of the coyote gag. Warrens
stuffed snake loses control of his tail and it becomes a helicopter
blade. The snake screams as he takes off from the bed, but things
get worse for him: his tail sputters and droops when it runs out
of gas. The snake looks Warren in the face, the snakes eyes
bigger than usual, if that is possible. Oh, no, he says,
softly; then he falls.
Warren laughed, as always, but last night he
was not completely satisfied.
Pause the game. Next time, have the snake
look down before he falls.
Huh? Oh.
The difference between the truths we extrapolate
from the coyotes fall is precisely the difference between
Warren and me. Examine the competing laws, stated succinctly here.
My Law: The coyote wont fall until he
looks down.
Warrens Law: The coyote wont fall
unless he looks down.
Get the distinction? I understand that the gag
works because the coyote will fall. Warren, on the other hand, sees
the possibilities.
It comes down to the difference between unless
and until.
Until is a preposition, inexorable as its object.
Prepositions let you know things about the world, things you have
to know to get along. Your job is to adjust, to understand your
limitations, and to show as much individuality as conformity will
permit. Your medicine fell under the table. Youre driving
on the wrong side of the road. You came after your sister. That
remark was over the top, Warren.
Unless is a conjunction, a grammatical contrivance
evincing a far different human impulse than a preposition. Conjunctions
put pieces of life together, and you have a lot of latitude there.
Stick an and in for an or, and maybe you
have two cookies instead of one. (Warren, in fact, often holds up
his index finger and says, with a slow detective-like voice, Unless
)
Life is not preset. Just because you fall off a cliff doesn't mean
you don't have some hard choices to make.
Until has its soft side, too, when it also serves
as a conjunction. I can relate to until's ambivalence. After all,
many of my fixed stances have fallen before Warrens conjunctive
assault. Heres a discussion we had two weeks ago:
W: [Holding up two of my screwdrivers.] If you
were going to give me one of your screwdrivers, would you give me
the big one or the small one?
P: Warren, Im not giving you any of my
screwdrivers.
W: I know
P: You may use my screwdrivers, but they remain
mine.
W: I know, but if you were going to give me
one, I think I know which one you would give me.
P: Okay, which one?
W: The small one. [Grins.]
A week later, it was his screwdriver.
I hasten to say that Im not the only authority
figure bending. When Warren was about five, he discovered prayer.
He applied it by his bed each month on the night before his childrens
church program held its drawing. He won the drawing and took home
nice toys four months in a row, as children more needy than he looked
on.
Warren got so confident of his hotline to God
that he tried to whip up a little unscheduled vacation for us that
winter. One morning when I woke him up for school, Warren closed
his eyes and mumbled for a moment, then gave me a knowing grin and
rolled up the window shade. He was surprised not to see two feet
of snow.
I thought Warren was in for a crisis of faith
that morning. Instead, he took the bungled snowstorm in stride and
walked down to breakfast. But he doesnt pray much anymore,
as far as I know.
Sometimes I wonder how Warren can have lived
on this planet for eight years without assimilating more of the
rules required for life down here. Victoria and I struggle to make
sure Warren is aware of some certainties, expectations, and conditions
precedent. But our work doesnt often seem to have much effect.
Maybe Warren showed up on the planet just yesterday, after all.
How long have any of us been here?
Or maybe Warren never got here, and never will.
Unless he looks down.
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Posted February 2005 |